“Being pretty and nice isn’t going to make you successful in life Tam”.
I remember the exact day in year 10 at high school my teacher said those words to me. Sure I wasn’t to academic at school, I found it a struggle to stay focused and I always doubted my ability so I just didn’t speak up and ask questions or volunteer my answers in case I was wrong. I was an introvert through and through. But this particular day and those words stuck with me for my whole adult life.
She didn’t know the impact that one line would have on my future. I was a vulnerable, shy teenager, and my interpretation of her comment became “You might be pretty and nice, but you’re not very smart Tam ”. This became my belief system.
The story we tell ourselves is what shapes our lives. For years I have told myself I am not very smart and I still continually have to remind myself that this is not in fact the truth. I had to rewrite my belief system and change my fixed mindset to thinking I am not smart enough to be successful. Here is a cold hard truth;
Most women have grown up being told their talents and fixed a limited. It can be a huge battle to believe in ourselves and remove the idea that we do not have the ability to be awesome.
To be successful you need to set yourself apart from the crowd.
Bottom line, it’s successful women’s mindsets that set them apart from all others.
No matter what has happened in your past, what you have been lead to believe YOU HAVE A CHOICE to take a new path and to change your life and reprogram your belief system.
We tend to possess two typical mindsets in life:
Fixed mindset – these are usually instilled in us from experiences in our life, be believe that our skills, strengths are set in stone. That we only have a certain level set of strengths, a certain level on intelligence, a particular personality type. Example; we are not very good at maths but we are a great creative writer.
Growth mindset – this is when we believe that we can develop our skills and strengths through consistent efforts, we are willing to grow with our life experiences. Example; even though we are shy and and introvert, we don’t let it deter us from becoming a leader of people.
To be a successful women in anything in your current life you must adopt a growth mindset, which means you are in a constant state of self improvement. You don’t just sit back at keep the talents or skills you currently have. Quite the opposite; your must be curious to learn more, get better, improve your skills, acquire new ones that get you closer to reaching your dreams and goals.
Want to switch your mindset from fixed to growth. Here is my list of how I work on growth mindset daily.
# Learn something new everyday.
This can be anything, I tend to listen to educational audiobooks in my car or researching new nutrition or training articles. I have a passion for learning and it helps me stay focused on my goals.
#2 Surround yourself with “growth mindset” people/women.
The people in your inner circle, your family, your friends, your partner can all impact your attitude, belief system and even what you perceive your strengths and weaknesses. The people around me are supportive of all my dreams and goals and believe in me to achieve them. Choose your tribe.
#3 Use every single opportunity in life to learn.
This doesn’t mean sitting in a class room. Read/listen to books, take an online course, read informative blogs/articles, watch YouTube videos. There is so much information at our fingertips, get off social media 24/7 and learn something useful.
#4 Challenge your fears.
I’ll admit it I used to be crippled with fear about posting on social media or writing my blogs. I was scared people wouldn’t want to listen to what I had to say. I feared I would get lost in the crowd of all the others. But everyday I felt the fear but persevered, I still have days I am not sure anyone is going to listen, but I get out of my comfort zone because I won’t let my fears control me from reaching my goals.
#5 Change the way you view what success is.
Success is what you decide, it doesn’t mean being rich, or noticed. Instead of viewing success as the ultimate goal, start thinking that adding value is the ultimate way of proving real success. Focus on creating things that add value to you and the people around you.
#6 Be open- minded to new opportunities.
You would be much more successful in all aspects of life of you keep an open mind. When you open your mind you attract more opportunities. With an open mind you can open doors to many more experiences and opportunities.
#7 Quit being complacent
You must strive for more than what is comfortable. If you really want something, you need to give it your 100% effort. You must allocate time into understanding what you need to work on, who can help you. Expand your social circle, research new opportunities, network with likeminded people. Don’t lose your enthusiasm. Keep pushing. Nothing worth having comes easy.
Always think before you pass comment, you never know the affect it will have on someone’s life.
Darling you are so incredibly valuable to this world, don’t let anyone make you believe otherwise.