What do you associate with the term vulnerability?
Perhaps it’s weakness, fear, hurt or betrayal….
Vulnerability is terrifying to us all and these are the emotions we feel when we reveal aspects of ourselves to others. But what I am here to tell you is vulnerability is NOT a sign of weakness and it’s actually your hidden strength.4. Work out what it is that’s holding me back… I have an incredible intuition I often choose to ignore it because I am are afraid of what I might have to go through to make change or that the journey to get there seems to overwhelming. It’s easy to stay comfortable but this can also be incredibly dangerous place for me to stay. Do something that makes me feel uncomfortable often.
“Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It’s tough to do that when we’re terrified about what people might see or think.” — Brené Brown
In today’s world we see vulnerability as a weakness, we live in a world full of disconnection, of shame, of always trying to be tough. I’m totally guilty of all these things as are YOU. We get so caught up in trying to please others, trying to fit in, trying to look a certain way, thinking we have to feel a certain way and it can become overwhelming…
Most of us have been hurt by someone or something in our lives, which can cause us to retract from people and things to protect ourselves, this means we can fail to appreciate intimacy and close relationships, we stop being vulnerable to protect our heart from being hurt. But the courage it takes to reveal your heart is one of the most daunting….and yet rewarding experiences in life. It is what will truly set you free.
I was pretty lucky up until 33yrs old I hadn’t experienced too much heartbreak, but then one day it got me, and completely turned my life upside down. I questioned my self-worth, it made me question every inch of my existence, it made me wonder if I was enough, it made me wonder what I did to cause this. It made me completely vulnerable to the world around me and it scared the bejeebers out of me to be honest. There is no pain quiet as devastatingly horrendous as heartbreak, but this pain is caused by the fact you are made completely vulnerable and vulnerability is something we ALL fear.
Although the heartbreak was painful it was also the best thing that ever happened to me. I learned how to heal my own pain through self-examination. I was finally honest with myself, for 33 years I had never really been vulnerable I had always protected my heart to ensure I didn’t get hurt, but all this caused me was broken relationships, shallow friendships and most of all I wasn’t being honest and true to myself. It took some time for my heart to recover but I did set myself one rule, I said from now on I would put my heart on the line with everything I did, I didn’t want to live as that closed off protected Tam ever again and just wanted to be ME to everyone in my life and it has opened the doors to the most amazing people and relationships I have ever had. What I realised was I needed to shift my association with vulnerability it required a shift in my self-awareness in order to strengthen my wellbeing.
It’s time to let down the walls you have constructed and let the world see the real YOU.
YOU must accept your vulnerability if you wish to live a wholesome life. Start with a small shift of letting down your guard because this is a huge commitment to your self-growth.
Here is a checklist I use to remind myself to stay true to myself. Feel free to use it yourself.
- Remind my self to be authentic, to not try to be somebody else for other people. I have the choice to be real and just be me.
- To accept what my body and mind is telling me to do, if it feels off or the same feeling comes back to me all the time then I need to action this thought or feeling not let it stew for to long. Follow my gut.
- Remember that human connection is the most important part of my life, put down my phone, close my computer screen and interact with my partner, friends and family more. A kind word, a touch cannot only help others but it can heal me.
- Don’t crush your emotions – allow myself to feel.
- When I start judging faults in others is usually a reflection on me and how I am feeling. Time for some serious self-reflection Tam.
- Spend time doing things I am passionate about, things that soothe my soul, that make you feel grounded.
- Help people….the more time I spend helping others the more open and happy my heart is. Focus less on me and my faults and more on inspiring and encouraging others.
- Be present in the moment…slow down, breathe, take a moment to be grateful.
Your greatest triumphs will arise when you lean into your vulnerabilities with openness and compassion. I’m not perfect I am still working on mine daily.